This is why I never get anything accomplished

This is the exact text of the e-mail I got today explaining why our servers can’t be administered today. Fortunately, I tend to work in the building next door to this, otherwise I might be concerned:

Just got off the phone with Shane, we have a real world issues with a thermal runaway emergency. (i.e. the UPS batteries in DISA are expelling poisonous gas that could cause the building to explode) We are evacuationg the entire building and as of right now the base CE organization has been called in and we have called 911.

You just can’t make stuff like this up. Anyway, ah… back to work.